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Dirty Als Waitress webChange comes to the Rio Grande Valley every year at the Ides of March. Here in the Valley Winter Texans are preparing to leave soon after March 15. Leaving to go north, reconnecting with their northern families.


• On the Ides of March 44 BC, the Roman Senate assassinated Julius Caesar.

• In 1599 William Shakespeare brought those five words into English with a play.

• In the 21st century, March 15 has gained a reputation as a time of Change.

• Change takes place yearly around this date, in the Rio Grande Valley.

A Winter Texan Tail

I am a writer, a humorist, a storyteller, and a Winter Texan. Spending my winters in the Rio Grande Valley and summers with our family in Canada.

The Winter Texan Times wanted a humorist to write a weekly Humor column, "On the Lighter Side.” So, in December 2022, I made my pitch to the editor. We agreed on a twelve-week trial run.

March 15, Change in the RGV

March 15, 2023: Following the successful trial run, the editor suggested we meet at "Dirty Al's" fish restaurant for lunch. At Dirty Al's, we could enjoy lunch and sign the contract extension, making the working relationship oh-fish-ial.

I arrived at the restaurant early. Time to coach and tip the waitress who would be our server.

At the Table

When my editor arrived, the waitress ensured she sat at the correct table and knew Lobster tail was the best buy today. My editor was amused; she could not resist the waitress’s smile and attention. Again, the waitress beamed successfully; she had started her acting career and was anticipating her joke lines.

“A Lobster Tail, please," ordered my editor.

The waitress was ready and with a nervous smile, then she started, "Once upon a time, a handsome lobster lived on South Padre Island…"

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” I said to my editor. “Cod this be any punnier?”

Then quickly turning to the waitress, I asked, “How’s the calamari?”

“It’s ex-squid-sit, sir,” she replied with a grin.

Then to my editor, I asked, "Would you mind letting mi-nnow what you think about these fish jokes?”

“Sure,” she said smiling, “but you are dragnet fishing for compliments.”

I took a deep breath and gave another pun, “But," I said, “When your editor is watching, you have to look e-fish-ent.”

2023/24 Winter Texan Season

After our meal and signing the contract, the editor and I shook hands as she gave me my copy. A contract for the 2023/24 Winter Texan Season. Then she paid the bill.

I could not resist the moment, “Thanks for giving me the oppor-tuna-ty of another year to write a fishy column.”

I thank the Winter Texan Times and its readers here in the Valley and online at https://wintertexantimes.com/home.html and look forward to next season's fun and puns with “On a Lighter Side.”

For any Feedback, ideas, or funny stories – email: malcolmwtt0@gmail.com or news@wintertexantimes.com

Editor’s Note: Events portrayed in the article may or may not have actually taken place.